They Spoke Death

I heard a parent one time say in front of their four year old child that they have been nothing but trouble since the day they got here. The child heard the entire conversation this parent had with my husband. Critiquing and degrading the four year old thinking that the kid didn’t have a clue what he was saying…

I guess being a teacher has made me a little sensitive to kids. Because of my position, I’ve been able to work with kids and learn that they do exactly what you expect them to do. My students taught me this. When I expect good behavior and excellent work, they work hard to meet that expectation because of the relationship I work to build with them. (Grant it, there are days they know I’m more laid back and they take full advantage of it!)

I watched that four year old kid take in every word that their parent was saying. That parent was instilling in their child at a young age the belief that they couldn’t do good. They were telling them that they expected them to do bad and fail.

Essentially, when we say things like this to our kids, we are speaking death over them. Not a literal death, but an emotional death. Teachers do this, parents, grandparents, pastors, mentors, coaches,… I’ve seen adults tear the spirit of children apart by saying simple things like ‘you’ve always been trouble!’ ‘Why did I expect anything better?’ ‘You’re never able to do it right!’

People do not mean to break the spirit of kids. At least, I hope we don’t mean it. We are all human and say things we don’t mean sometimes. However, there are time when I think we don’t realize the damage we do to our kids by saying some of the things we say.

My child is just twelve weeks old. She really has no idea what I’m saying when I’m talking to her, but I’m practicing. I’m practicing speaking life over her. Telling her how smart, wonderful, brilliant, and anything else positive I can think of. I want her to have life spoken over her.

So I’m just asking and challenging us adults to be mindful of what we say to and over our kids. Remind them who they are. Expect great things from them. And when you do have a moment and say something you don’t mean… come back and apologize. Model for them how to fix a wrong. Then continue to speak life.

Let’s stop the practice of speaking death.